the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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