The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize