he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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