THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
