youre lurking in front of me
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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