I can't watch pbs sober anymore
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
