I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
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Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
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It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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