Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
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MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
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I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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