Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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