If that was your dad, he is hot
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
The power of my boobs compel you
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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