i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
