this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
