got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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