What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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