So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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