a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize