Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize