i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
