I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
