HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize