He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
