Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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