I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
so let's talk penis.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I have aggressive nipples.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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