I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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