they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Send help, water and tortillas.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
