apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i came on her dog
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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