I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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