Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
