We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
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I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
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I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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