i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
