he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
