I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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