i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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