then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
