you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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