And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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