what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
