dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
