There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
