what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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