i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
