She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
