I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
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peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
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It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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