I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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