tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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