38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize