my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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