Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize