Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
this boner is exhausting
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
