Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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