Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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