Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
