is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
