you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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