As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
