i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
